25 Signs A Friend Doesn't Care About You

Hey guys, let's talk about something that can really sting: realizing a friend might not be as invested in your friendship as you are. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but understanding these signs is the first step to either fixing the friendship or moving on to healthier connections. Maintaining friendships with people who don't genuinely value you or respect you as an individual can have a negative impact on your confidence and emotional health. Friends who consistently exhibit toxic behaviors, or simply don't reciprocate your efforts, can leave you feeling drained and undervalued. This article is all about spotting those red flags and giving you the lowdown on how to handle these situations, whether that means a heart-to-heart chat or knowing when it's time to say goodbye.

Understanding the Dynamics of Friendship

At its core, a strong friendship is built on mutual respect, trust, and genuine care. It’s a two-way street, a give-and-take where both individuals feel supported, understood, and appreciated. When this balance is off, and you find yourself consistently putting in more effort than you receive, it’s a major indicator that something isn’t quite right. Think about it: do you always initiate plans? Are you the one always reaching out, checking in, and making the effort to keep the connection alive? If the answer is a resounding yes, and your friend rarely, if ever, reciprocates, it’s a sign they might not value the friendship as much as you do. This isn’t about keeping score, but about recognizing a pattern of imbalance. Healthy friendships thrive on shared effort and mutual investment. When one person is doing all the heavy lifting, it’s a clear signal that the other person isn’t as committed to nurturing the relationship. This can manifest in various ways, from them not remembering important details about your life to consistently canceling plans last minute without a valid reason. It’s important to remember that friendships, like any relationship, require work from both sides. If you're the only one putting in the work, it's time to evaluate whether this is a friendship worth saving or if it's time to redirect your energy elsewhere.

1. They Rarely Initiate Contact

This is a big one, guys. If you’re always the one sending the first text, making the first call, or suggesting the first hangout, that’s a pretty clear sign your friend might not be as invested in keeping the connection alive. Think about it: would you let a plant die if you really cared about it? Probably not! Similarly, friendships need nurturing. If your friend isn’t reaching out to you, it suggests they’re comfortable letting the friendship exist on your terms and your effort. It's not about them being busy; it’s about priorities. If someone truly values you, they’ll make an effort to connect, even amidst a hectic schedule. They’ll send a quick “thinking of you” text, share a funny meme, or ask how your day was. The absence of this proactive engagement can feel like a silent dismissal, leaving you wondering if your presence in their life truly matters to them. This lack of initiative can erode your self-esteem over time, making you question your own worth and desirability as a friend. It’s important to acknowledge that while we can’t expect constant communication, a consistent pattern of one-sided initiation speaks volumes about their level of commitment to the friendship. You deserve friends who are as eager to connect with you as you are with them, and this sign is a strong indicator that this might not be the case.

2. Conversations Are Always One-Sided

When you chat with this friend, do you find yourself doing most of the talking? Are you the one always sharing updates, asking questions, and trying to keep the conversation flowing? If your friend rarely asks about your life, your feelings, or your experiences, and instead just talks about themselves or changes the subject back to them, it’s a huge red flag. A healthy conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. It involves genuine curiosity about the other person’s world. If they’re not showing interest in what’s going on with you, it suggests they’re not truly engaged in your life or your well-being. This can make you feel unheard, unseen, and unimportant. It’s like you’re just a sounding board for their own thoughts and dramas, rather than an equal participant in a reciprocal relationship. You might find yourself holding back on sharing important things because you know they’ll either brush it off or steer the conversation back to themselves. This lack of reciprocity in conversation can be incredibly isolating and emotionally draining. It leaves you feeling like you’re pouring your energy into a void, with little to no meaningful exchange in return. True friends are interested in the ups and downs of your life, the big milestones and the small moments. They ask follow-up questions and remember details you’ve shared previously. If this isn’t happening, it’s a strong signal that they aren’t prioritizing your connection.

3. They Don’t Remember Important Details

Remember that big presentation you were stressing about? Or that important family event you told them all about? If your friend doesn’t recall these things, or asks you about them as if you never mentioned them, it’s a sign they weren’t really listening or that the details of your life just don’t stick with them. When someone truly cares, they pay attention. They file away the important stuff because it matters to them. It shows they’re invested in your world. On the flip side, if they consistently forget things you’ve shared, it can make you feel like your life isn’t significant enough for them to remember. This isn’t about a faulty memory; it’s about a lack of engagement. Imagine telling someone you have a major surgery coming up, and they later ask, “So, anything exciting happening next week?” Ouch. It’s a subtle but powerful way of saying, “What’s going on with you isn’t a priority for me to retain.” This can lead to feelings of frustration and a sense of being invalidated. You might start to question if you’re even important enough for them to remember the key aspects of your journey. In a true friendship, you'd expect them to be aware of your struggles, your triumphs, and the significant events that shape your life. Their forgetfulness could be a reflection of their overall disinterest in the deeper aspects of your friendship.

4. They’re Always “Too Busy”

We all have busy lives, right? But if your friend always seems to be “too busy” to hang out, talk on the phone, or even respond to a quick text, it’s a classic excuse for not making time. “Too busy” can often translate to “not a priority.” If someone genuinely wants to see you or talk to you, they will find the time. They’ll carve out an hour for coffee, send a quick voice note, or schedule a video call. When it’s a consistent pattern of unavailability, it suggests they’re not making an effort to maintain the friendship. It’s easy to feel hurt and rejected when you’re constantly met with the “too busy” response. You might start to wonder if you’re bothering them or if they’re actively avoiding you. This can create a sense of insecurity and make you hesitant to reach out again, which is exactly what happens when a friendship is fading. It’s important to distinguish between genuine periods of busyness and a habitual avoidance. If they never seem to have any free time for you, even during holidays or downtime, it’s a strong indicator that the friendship isn’t a priority for them. This can lead to a feeling of being disposable, as if you’re only important when it’s convenient for them.

5. They Don’t Support Your Goals or Dreams

Your friends should be your biggest cheerleaders, right? If you share an exciting new goal or a dream you’re pursuing, and your friend responds with indifference, skepticism, or even negativity, that’s a major bummer. Genuine friends celebrate your wins and encourage you through challenges. They offer words of encouragement, constructive advice, and a listening ear when you’re feeling discouraged. If they dismiss your aspirations, belittle your efforts, or simply don’t seem to care about what’s important to you, it indicates a lack of genuine support and investment in your happiness. This can be incredibly demotivating, especially when you’re trying to achieve something significant. You might start to doubt yourself or feel hesitant to share future aspirations with them. It’s crucial to have people in your life who lift you up, not tear you down or remain passive observers. Their lack of enthusiasm can make you feel alone in your journey, undermining your confidence and your drive. This indifference to your personal growth and ambitions is a clear sign that they may not see you as a valued individual whose life journey they are invested in.

6. They Talk Negatively About You Behind Your Back

This is a friendship killer, plain and simple. If you hear from mutual friends or even the friend in question (in a manipulative way) that they’ve been speaking poorly of you, spreading gossip, or criticizing you, that’s toxic behavior. Trust is the foundation of any good friendship, and this breaks it completely. A true friend might offer constructive feedback directly to you if they have a concern, but they wouldn’t badmouth you to others. This kind of behavior erodes your sense of security and makes you question who you can actually trust. It can lead to intense feelings of betrayal, hurt, and anger. You might start to feel paranoid and constantly question what they’re saying about you. This is a clear sign that they don’t respect you or value your friendship enough to address issues directly and respectfully. It’s a betrayal of the highest order and often indicates a deeper level of resentment or envy. Dealing with friends who gossip about you can be incredibly damaging to your reputation and your emotional well-being. It creates a hostile environment and makes it impossible to feel safe and secure in the relationship. This behavior fundamentally undermines the concept of loyalty that is so vital in any genuine friendship.

7. They’re Competitive Instead of Collaborative

Friendships should be about mutual growth and support, not a constant competition. If everything is a competition with your friend – who got a better grade, who has a more exciting job, who got invited to a cooler party – it’s not a healthy dynamic. True friends celebrate each other's successes, they don't try to one-up each other. When they consistently try to outdo you, minimize your achievements, or constantly compare themselves to you in a negative light, it suggests they might feel insecure or envious. Instead of feeling happy for your successes, they might feel threatened. This can create an uncomfortable and draining atmosphere, where you feel like you always have to prove yourself. It’s exhausting trying to maintain a friendship where you’re constantly being compared or put down. A healthy friendship involves cheering each other on, offering genuine congratulations, and collaborating rather than competing. If their default mode is competition, it signals a lack of genuine care for your well-being and your accomplishments. They might be more focused on their own perceived standing relative to yours, rather than on fostering a supportive bond.

8. They Make Everything About Them

Does every conversation somehow loop back to your friend? Do they rarely ask follow-up questions about you but are quick to share their own anecdotes? This level of self-absorption indicates a lack of interest in your experiences. It suggests that your life and your feelings are secondary to theirs. When you share something important, and they immediately pivot to their own similar (or unrelated) story, it can feel dismissive. It’s as if they’re not really listening or that your experiences aren’t as compelling as theirs. This can lead to you feeling like a therapist or a glorified audience member rather than a friend. Healthy friendships involve a balanced exchange, where both parties feel heard and acknowledged. If you consistently feel like you’re in the presence of a narcissist (even if they aren't clinically diagnosed), it’s a sign that the friendship isn’t built on mutual regard. You might start to dread sharing things because you know they’ll just turn it back to themselves, leaving you feeling unheard and unimportant. This self-centeredness can be incredibly draining and makes the friendship feel transactional rather than genuine.

9. They Rarely Ask About Your Well-being

Beyond surface-level greetings, does your friend genuinely inquire about how you’re really doing? Do they ask about your mental health, your stress levels, or how you're coping with challenges? If they only engage when it’s convenient or when they need something, it shows a lack of genuine care. A friend who cares will notice if you seem down, stressed, or different, and will check in. They’ll ask probing questions that show they’re invested in your emotional state. If their inquiries are always superficial, or if they seem uninterested when you try to open up about deeper issues, it’s a sign that they aren’t prioritizing your well-being. This can leave you feeling isolated and unsupported, especially during difficult times. You might hesitate to share your struggles, fearing their indifference or lack of response. This lack of concern for your inner world suggests that they may not see your emotional health as a significant part of the friendship. True friends are there for you through thick and thin, offering comfort and support when you need it most. Their disinterest in your struggles is a powerful indicator that their connection with you is not as deep as you might have hoped.

10. They Constantly Criticize You

While constructive feedback is one thing, constant criticism is another. If your friend frequently puts you down, points out your flaws (often in a hurtful way), or makes you feel inadequate, it’s not a sign of a healthy friendship. Your friends should build you up, not tear you down. This behavior can chip away at your self-esteem and make you feel constantly on edge. It’s important to differentiate between someone who cares and wants you to improve (and offers helpful advice) versus someone who seems to enjoy putting you down. If their comments are consistently negative, dismissive, or aimed at making you feel small, it’s a major red flag. This type of behavior can be a sign of their own insecurities or a desire for control. It leaves you feeling constantly judged and inadequate, which is the opposite of what a supportive friendship should provide. You might start to dread seeing them or interacting with them because you anticipate their next critical remark. This constant negativity can be incredibly damaging to your self-worth and your overall mental health. It creates an environment where you feel unsafe and unsupported.

11. They Disappear When You Need Them Most

This is perhaps one of the most painful signs. When you’re going through a tough time – a breakup, a family crisis, a major disappointment – and your friend is nowhere to be found, it speaks volumes. Fair-weather friends are only around for the good times. They don’t show up when the going gets tough. A true friend will offer support, a shoulder to cry on, or practical help when you’re struggling. If they consistently make excuses, ignore your calls, or become distant during your times of need, it indicates a fundamental lack of commitment and care. This experience can leave you feeling incredibly alone and betrayed. It’s during these low points that the true strength and depth of a friendship are tested. If they fail this test, it’s a clear indication that their investment in the relationship is superficial. You deserve friends who stand by you, not just when it’s easy, but when it’s hard. Their absence during your struggles can be profoundly damaging to your trust and your sense of security.

12. They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries

Boundaries are crucial for healthy relationships. If your friend consistently oversteps your boundaries – whether it’s about personal space, personal information, or your time – it’s a sign of disrespect. They don’t care enough to listen to your needs or respect your limits. This can manifest in various ways, such as repeatedly calling you when you've asked them not to, sharing private information you’ve confided in them, or pressuring you to do things you’re uncomfortable with. When your boundaries are ignored, it can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, and being taken advantage of. A friend who genuinely cares will respect your boundaries and make an effort to understand and honor your needs. Their consistent disregard for your limits suggests a lack of empathy and consideration for your feelings. This can make you feel like your personal autonomy isn’t valued, and that your needs are secondary to their desires. It creates an unhealthy power dynamic where you constantly feel defensive and unheard. Upholding your boundaries is essential for your well-being, and a friend who consistently violates them is not acting out of genuine care.

13. They Are Often Late or Cancel Last Minute

While everyone can be late or cancel occasionally, if this is a recurring pattern with your friend, it’s a sign of disrespect for your time and your plans. It implies that your time is less valuable than theirs. When they consistently treat your meetups as optional or easily replaceable, it suggests they don’t prioritize the time you’ve set aside to spend with them. This can be incredibly frustrating and lead to feelings of being undervalued. It might make you hesitant to make plans with them in the future, as you anticipate the likelihood of them being late or canceling. A friend who respects you and values your company will make an effort to be punctual and to honor the plans you’ve made together. Their flakiness can make you feel like an afterthought, someone they can fit in if nothing better comes along. This consistent unreliability can erode the foundation of trust and make the friendship feel unstable. You deserve friends who respect your commitment and treat your shared time with importance.

14. They Make You Feel Drained, Not Energized

Think about how you feel after spending time with this friend. Do you leave feeling lighter, happier, and more energized, or do you feel exhausted, anxious, or even worse about yourself? A good friend should uplift you, not deplete you. If your interactions consistently leave you feeling drained, it’s a sign that the friendship is taking a toll on your emotional and mental well-being. This can be due to their constant negativity, their demands, or their inability to reciprocate the positive energy you bring. Spending time with people who drain you can be detrimental to your overall health. You might start to associate spending time with them with negative feelings, leading to avoidance. This feeling of depletion is a powerful indicator that the friendship is not balanced or healthy. It suggests that you're giving more energy than you're receiving, or that their presence is inherently negative for you. True friendships should be a source of comfort and rejuvenation, not a source of exhaustion.

15. They Don’t Seem to Care About Your Accomplishments

This is similar to not supporting goals, but it’s more about their reaction (or lack thereof) to things you’ve already achieved. Did you get a promotion? Finish a marathon? Achieve a personal milestone? If your friend’s response is lukewarm, or they quickly change the subject, it’s a sign they aren’t genuinely happy for you. A friend who cares will celebrate your successes with enthusiasm. They’ll be proud of you and acknowledge your hard work. Their indifference suggests they might feel envious, competitive, or simply not invested enough to share in your joy. This can make you feel like your achievements aren’t significant or that your happiness doesn’t matter to them. It’s important to have friends who genuinely cheer for your successes, as this positive reinforcement is vital for self-esteem and motivation. Their lack of enthusiasm can make your victories feel hollow and isolated. It’s a subtle way of saying, “Your good news isn’t really that important to me.” This indifference can be a significant letdown and make you question the sincerity of the friendship.

16. They Only Contact You When They Need Something

This is a classic sign of a user. If your friend only reaches out when they need a favor – a ride, money, help with a task, or someone to vent to about their problems – it’s a transactional relationship, not a friendship. True friends are there for each other, not just when one person is in need. When their calls or texts are always prefaced with a request, it indicates that they value what you can do for them, rather than who you are. This can leave you feeling used and resentful. You might start to dread their calls, knowing they’ll likely come with an expectation or a demand. A balanced friendship involves mutual support and connection, not one person constantly taking from the other. This pattern suggests a lack of genuine care and a focus on self-interest. It’s important to recognize when a friendship has become one-sided in terms of demands and support. You deserve friends who reach out just to connect, share a laugh, or simply say hello, without an ulterior motive.

17. They Dismiss Your Feelings

If you express sadness, frustration, or anger, and your friend brushes it off, tells you you’re overreacting, or invalidates your emotions, that’s a major problem. Your feelings are valid, and a good friend acknowledges that. They don’t have to agree with your reaction, but they should acknowledge that your feelings are real for you. When someone dismisses your emotions, it makes you feel like you’re crazy, or that your experiences aren’t important. This can lead to you suppressing your emotions or feeling like you can’t be open with them. It’s a form of emotional invalidation that erodes trust and intimacy. A supportive friend will listen, empathize, and try to understand your perspective, even if they don’t fully grasp it. Their dismissal suggests a lack of empathy and a potential unwillingness to engage with your emotional reality. This can leave you feeling isolated and misunderstood, especially during vulnerable moments. You deserve friends who validate your experiences and make you feel safe to express yourself without judgment.

18. They Rarely Ask About Your Friends or Family

People who care about you also care about the important people in your life. If your friend never asks about your family, your partner, or your other close friends, it suggests they don’t see the bigger picture of your life or aren’t interested in understanding the people who matter most to you. This lack of curiosity indicates a shallow connection. They might be focused solely on their interactions with you, without acknowledging or valuing the wider network that supports you. This can make you feel like they don’t truly know you or aren’t interested in the full scope of your life. A genuine friend will often inquire about your loved ones, showing an interest in the entirety of your world. Their disinterest in your inner circle might signal that they don't see your life beyond the immediate interactions they have with you, suggesting a limited or superficial connection.

19. They Gossip Excessively About Others (and You Fear They Do It About You)

While some light gossip is normal, if your friend constantly engages in malicious gossip about other people, it’s a red flag. Someone who talks negatively about everyone else will likely talk negatively about you too. This behavior indicates a lack of integrity and can make you feel uneasy and untrusting. You might find yourself constantly wondering if they’re talking about you when you’re not around. This creates an atmosphere of suspicion and insecurity. A friend who respects you will likely maintain a level of discretion and avoid participating in or initiating excessively negative gossip. This constant negativity and potential betrayal can make the friendship feel unstable and unreliable. You can’t feel secure in a relationship where you’re constantly worried about what’s being said behind your back. This habit points to a potentially untrustworthy character, making it hard to maintain a genuine connection.

20. They Never Apologize or Take Responsibility

In any relationship, mistakes happen. If your friend is never able to admit when they’re wrong, apologize sincerely, or take responsibility for their actions, it’s a sign of immaturity or a lack of respect. A friendship requires accountability. When they consistently deflect blame, make excuses, or refuse to acknowledge their part in conflicts, it’s impossible to resolve issues healthily. This can leave you feeling like you’re always the one apologizing or making concessions, which is unsustainable. You deserve friends who are capable of admitting fault and working towards resolution. Their inability to take responsibility suggests they don’t value the friendship enough to own their mistakes. This can lead to ongoing resentment and unresolved conflict, making the friendship a source of constant stress rather than support. It creates an environment where you feel unheard and unvalued because your concerns are never properly addressed.

21. They Don’t Share Anything Personal About Themselves

Friendship is about vulnerability and sharing. If your friend keeps everything about their life locked down and never shares anything personal, it can feel like a one-way street. While everyone has different comfort levels, a complete lack of sharing can signal a lack of trust or investment in the friendship. It might mean they don’t see you as a safe person to confide in, or they’re not interested in building a deeper connection. Healthy friendships involve a reciprocal exchange of personal information and feelings. Their guardedness can leave you feeling like you don’t truly know them, and vice versa. This imbalance in self-disclosure can create a distance that prevents the friendship from deepening. You might wonder if they truly value your connection if they're unwilling to open up even a little. This lack of reciprocal intimacy can make the friendship feel superficial and lacking in genuine connection.

22. They Make Fun of You Inappropriately

Teasing can be a part of friendship, but there's a fine line between playful banter and hurtful mockery. If your friend consistently makes jokes at your expense that are mean-spirited, embarrassing, or that target your insecurities, it’s not okay. They are crossing a boundary and showing a lack of respect. This behavior can chip away at your confidence and make you feel constantly on guard. If you’ve asked them to stop and they don’t, it’s a clear sign they don’t care about your feelings or your comfort. A healthy friendship involves mutual respect, and this includes respecting each other’s feelings and sensitivities. Their continued inappropriate teasing suggests a disregard for your emotional well-being and a potential lack of empathy. It leaves you feeling belittled and disrespected, which is the opposite of how a friend should make you feel. You deserve friends who can joke around without making you feel intentionally hurt or humiliated.

23. They Don’t Stand Up For You

If someone is being rude or disrespectful to you, especially in front of your friend, and your friend stays silent or even sides with the other person, that’s a major betrayal. A true friend will have your back. They won’t let others mistreat you without saying something. Their silence or complicity when you’re being wronged indicates a lack of loyalty and care. It makes you question where their true allegiance lies. You deserve friends who are willing to defend you and stand up for your honor. Their failure to do so can leave you feeling unprotected and unsupported. This lack of defense can be incredibly isolating and damaging to your trust in the friendship. It signals that they are not willing to risk any discomfort to protect your reputation or feelings, suggesting their loyalty is questionable.

24. They Don’t Seem Interested in Getting to Know You Better

Even in long-term friendships, there’s always more to learn about each other. If your friend never asks follow-up questions about your past, your family, your interests, or your evolving perspectives, it suggests they’re not curious about who you are as a person. It’s like they think they already know everything, or they simply don’t care to know more. This lack of genuine curiosity can make the friendship feel stagnant. A friend who is invested in you will naturally want to understand you more deeply, to learn about your experiences that shaped you, and to keep up with your growth. Their disinterest in knowing you better can signify a surface-level relationship where they are content with the status quo, without investing in a deeper, more meaningful connection. This can lead to you feeling like you’re not truly seen or understood by them.

25. Your Gut Feeling Tells You Something Is Off

Often, our intuition is our best guide. If you consistently have a nagging feeling that something is wrong in the friendship, even if you can’t pinpoint exactly why, pay attention to it. Your gut instinct is powerful. It’s your subconscious mind picking up on subtle cues and patterns that your conscious mind might be overlooking. This feeling of unease, discomfort, or doubt is a valid signal that the friendship might not be as healthy or as reciprocal as you’d like it to be. Don’t dismiss it! Listen to that inner voice; it’s often trying to protect you from further disappointment or hurt. Trusting your intuition is vital for maintaining healthy relationships and protecting your emotional well-being. If that gut feeling persists, it's worth exploring further.

What to Do When a Friend Doesn’t Care

So, you’ve recognized some of these signs, and it’s hitting hard. What now? Here’s the game plan:

1. Assess the Friendship

Take a step back and look at the friendship as a whole. Is this a new pattern, or has it always been this way? Are there more good times than bad? Be honest with yourself about the value this friendship brings to your life. Sometimes, people go through phases, and the lack of effort might be temporary. Other times, it’s a consistent issue that needs addressing.

2. Communicate Your Feelings (The Direct Approach)

If you value the friendship and want to try and salvage it, a direct conversation is often the best route. Choose a calm time and place, and use “I” statements. For example, “I’ve been feeling a bit disconnected lately, and I miss when we used to…” or “I felt hurt when [specific incident] happened because…” Focus on your feelings and observations, not on accusations. Give them a chance to respond and explain their perspective. This approach is crucial for understanding if there’s a misunderstanding or if they are truly uninvested.

3. Observe Their Reaction to Your Communication

How do they respond when you voice your concerns? Do they get defensive? Dismissive? Or do they listen, apologize, and show a willingness to change? Their reaction will tell you a lot about their investment in the friendship. If they brush off your feelings or make excuses, it’s a strong indicator that they’re not willing or able to meet your needs.

4. Adjust Your Expectations

If the conversation doesn’t lead to significant changes, or if you realize the friendship isn’t going to be what you hoped for, it’s time to adjust your expectations. You can’t force someone to care more than they do. Perhaps this person can be a more casual acquaintance rather than a close confidant. It’s about finding a realistic level of interaction that works for you without causing constant disappointment.

5. Set Stronger Boundaries

If the friendship continues but the issues persist, it’s crucial to set and enforce stricter boundaries. This might mean limiting contact, being less available, or being more selective about what you share. Protect your energy and your emotional well-being. Boundaries are not about punishing the other person, but about self-preservation and maintaining a healthier dynamic, even if it's a limited one.

6. Prepare to Let Go

This is the hardest part, but sometimes it’s the healthiest option. If, after trying to communicate and adjust, the friendship continues to be one-sided, toxic, or draining, it might be time to let it go. Recognize that you deserve friendships that are nurturing, supportive, and reciprocal. Letting go doesn't mean you failed; it means you prioritized your own well-being. It frees you up to find connections with people who truly value and appreciate you.

Friendships are precious, but they should also be healthy and life-affirming. By recognizing the signs and taking proactive steps, you can ensure your social circle is filled with people who genuinely care about you.